Random Funny Things to Say In A Text
Ever sent a text so random and funny it made someone nearly drop their phone laughing? If not, oh buddy, you’re missing out. When a dull convo needs saving, or when you just feel like sprinkling some laughter therapy, here’s the ultimate collection of funny texts to a girl, guy, or whoever’s lucky enough to be your text recipient today.
Warning: May cause sudden bursts of giggles and confused replies like “What???”
Ridiculously Random Things to Say That’ll Leave ‘Em Speechless
- “If I eat pasta then pasta eats me, are we even?”
- “I’m like a software update unexpected, unwanted, and takes forever.”
- “Does the sun set because it’s shy or just lazy?”
- “Broccoli is just a mini tree. Fight me on this.”
- “If a turtle loses its shell, is it homeless or naked?”
- “I just tried to pet my reflection. Don’t ask.”
- “What if our dreams are just someone else’s reality TV?”
- “I barked at my dog to assert dominance. Failed.”
- “Why does my cereal get soggy faster than my life?”
- “Bees probably think we’re flowers with bad hair.”
Witty One-Liners for Instant LOLs
- “Running late is my cardio.”
- “I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time.”
- “If I had a dollar for every smart thing I say, I’d be broke.”
- “Not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen us in a room together?”
- “I’d explain it to you but I left my puppets at home.”
- “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
- “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat it.”
- “Life’s short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
- “Error 404: Motivation not found.”
- “I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.”
Playful Teasing Texts That’ll Make Them Grin
- “Your typing speed is as fast as a snail on holiday.”
- “You’re the human version of a typo.”
- “Your playlists be like: hits of the stone age.”
- “You probably clap when a plane lands, don’t ya?”
- “You’re so unique even autocorrect gives up on you.”
- “You’d lose a staring contest with a goldfish.”
- “You must be tired from running through my notifications all day.”
- “You’d make a great background character in life.”
- “Your spirit animal is probably a potato.”
- “Bet you use your phone flashlight in daylight too.”
Silly Conversation Starters for When You’re Bored
- “Would you rather have spaghetti hair or meatball eyes?”
- “If animals could talk, which one would be rudest?”
- “Imagine sneezing confetti. Party or disaster?”
- “Do stairs go up or down?”
- “If you were a fruit, what fruit would hate you?”
- “What if mosquitoes drink our blood and gossip about us?”
- “Is soup just tea for food?”
- “Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?”
- “Do fish ever get thirsty?”
- “If we couldn’t see air, what colour do you think it’d be?”
Sarcastic Text Ideas for Those Who Get Your Humor
- “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
- “Your opinion is very important to me. Said no one ever.”
- “Oh look, another text I didn’t ask for.”
- “You’d make a great invisible friend.”
- “So glad you texted. I was bored ignoring other people.”
- “You have something on your face… oh wait, that’s just your face.”
- “Oh no, not you again 😏”
- “Let me drop everything and text you back immediately.”
- “Your messages are like a free nap.”
- “I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.”
Funny Texts to a Girl That’ll Make Her Smile
- “If beauty were a crime, you’d be on the run forever.”
- “Are you made of sugar? Cause you’re too sweet and now my teeth hurt.”
- “Even my autocorrect gets nervous texting you.”
- “You’re so cute, my emojis feel unnecessary.”
- “Your selfies could break the internet. Pls post responsibly.”
- “You’re the reason I forget what I was about to type.”
- “If looks could kill, I’d be a ghost texting you now.”
- “I’d send you a rose, but I don’t trust delivery guys.”
- “Your laugh = my favorite ringtone.”
- “If you were a YouTube ad, I wouldn’t skip.”
Funny Texts to a Guy That’ll Make Him Laugh Out Loud
- “You’re like a cloud, when you disappear, it’s a good day.”
- “If you were any cooler, you’d be ice-cream.”
- “I text you cause Netflix said ‘are you still watching?’”
- “If I had a dollar for every time you annoyed me, I’d retire.”
- “You’re the reason Wi-Fi passwords exist.”
- “If sarcasm burned calories, you’d be a fitness influencer.”
- “You’re like a software update at the worst time.”
- “You make dad jokes look edgy.”
- “Your beard’s so majestic even goats are jealous.”
- “You could win hide-and-seek just by sitting still.”
Hilarious One-Liners to Break the Ice
- “Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling the connection.”
- “Hi, can you send me a pic of your dog? For science.”
- “You look like trouble. I’m in.”
- “Are you made of magic? Because whenever I text you, everything disappears… like my free time.”
- “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”
- “Are you a loan from a bank? Because you have my interest.”
- “Do you have a map? I just got lost in this chat.”
- “If I were a cat, I’d spend all 9 lives texting you.”
- “Are you cold? Want me to text you a blanket emoji?”
- “Hi. Just testing if your reply speed is faster than pizza delivery.”
Lighthearted Text Messages to Cheer Up a Friend
- “Sending a virtual hug. You can pay me in snacks later.”
- “If smiles were currency, you’d be filthy rich.”
- “You’re the kind of awesome they write songs about.”
- “If life gives you lemons, I’ll bring tequila.”
- “Even bad days can’t handle your awesomeness.”
- “Remember: Your pet probably thinks you’re a rockstar.”
- “You make Mondays feel like Fridays.”
- “Your vibe could cure Monday blues.”
- “You’re so bright, the sun’s jealous.”
- “No storm lasts forever. Unless your Wi-Fi is out.”
Random Funny Text Messages for Late-Night Chats
- “Why do we call it beauty sleep when I wake up looking like a gremlin?”
- “Is there a sleep fairy I can bribe?”
- “If I were a sandwich at 2 AM, what would I be?”
- “I just had a deep chat with my ceiling. Very supportive.”
- “Do aliens judge us for our PJs?”
- “If my bed had feelings, it would feel betrayed I’m still on my phone.”
- “Ever wonder if the moon’s stalking us?”
- “Late-night texts: because decisions at this hour are always wise.”
- “I’m so sleepy I just tried to scroll my pillow.”
- “I’m basically nocturnal now. Should I apply to be Batman’s sidekick?”
Flirty Funny Texts That Are Equal Parts Cute & Hilarious
- “If flirting was a sport, I’d totally be disqualified for excessive cuteness.”
- “Are you sunscreen? Because you’re hot and I need protection.”
- “You’re the reason I smile at my screen like an idiot.”
- “I just Googled ‘cute’ and guess what popped up?”
- “If you were a song, I’d have you on repeat.”
- “If I had a nickel for every time I thought of you… I’d buy you dinner.”
- “You’re my favorite distraction.”
- “You should come with a warning: dangerously adorable.”
- “Are you a magician? Because whenever I text you, the world disappears.”
- “Just a reminder: You make my heart do somersaults.”
Sarcastic Comebacks When They’re Being Extra
- “Oh, you’re talking again? Cool story, bro.”
- “Your life must be so hard with all that free time.”
- “I’d explain but I left my crayons at home.”
- “Please go on, I love long boring texts.”
- “Sorry, I didn’t realize this was your world and I’m just living in it.”
- “You’d be so good at silent movies.”
- “You should wear a sign that says, ‘I’m always right.’”
- “Oh, you noticed that too? What a genius.”
- “I’d say bless you, but even angels are like ‘nah’.”
- “You must be fun at parties.”
Conclusion: Ready to Make Your Friends Laugh?
Boom! You’re armed with enough random funny things to say to make your text recipients — whether friends, family, girls, or guys — laugh till their cheeks hurt. Sprinkle these into your conversations, watch the replies roll in, and spread those laughter-filled vibes. Now it’s your turn — text one of these to someone right now or tag that mate who really needs to level up their texting humor! What’s your fav? Share it!
